This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
