i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
