a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
