Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
