just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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