so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
