I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
