so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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