im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
