so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
