I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
