I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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