careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He kissed a someone with a penis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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