you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
