He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
