marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
