Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
