I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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