Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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