Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
