I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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