I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
