I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
