9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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