M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
