all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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