i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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