guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
