I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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