He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
