rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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