they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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