He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
