so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
