I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
