I want to stick my p in your. b.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
