so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
