I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
