Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
