I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
