I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
