did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
