Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
