OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
