Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
