Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
