my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
