I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
