do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
