It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
