I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
