I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
